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AMUSING DREAMS

Dr. Umar Azam B.A., Ph.D., F.R.S.A., F.R.S.S.A.

Manchester, UK

July 2006

Introduction

For me, amusing dreams have been much rarer than serious dreams.  I suppose this is because I am quite a serious person most of the time, a mood one becomes accustomed to when trying to earn a living and also writing academic articles!  Perhaps my subconscious realises this and so I dream serious dreams!  However, I consider amusing dreams to be a Mercy from Allah Most High. Because of their light-hearted nature, they are refreshingly different to the more serious side of life!   

NOTE: While writing this paper, I noticed that some of the dreams that were relevant for this particular title � Amusing Dreams- had already been included in other papers, for example Romantic Dreams.  Although it has happened a few times previously, I don't intend to duplicate original material which falls into a complex Venn Diagram of applicable, overlapping dreams.  So I have omitted dreams which have been published before but which could have been included in this work.

Dream No. 1                                          Thursday 22nd May 2003

I dreamt that I was in the bathroom.  The house my flat was in had huge pillars and it was very spacious, like a palace.  Then across a vast space I saw groups of beautiful maidens coming in my direction!  These girls looked very artistically- capable, like film actresses!  One of them laughed merrily and loudly when she saw me!  I felt so embarrassed.  Then I thought: 'Why am I feeling embarrassed?  What I am doing is completely natural.'  The young ladies were stunningly attractive and, when they had reached near to where I was, they began to walk sideways!

Context

From 1984-2003, most of my important, Islamic work has been done in loneliness in rather uncomfortable bedsits and flats.  This dream is giving me the news of the opulence and company that I can expect, Insha'Allah, in Paradise.

Dream No. 2                                                          c. 23rd July 2003

I had a dream telling me that I'll be famous in the future.  I was first invited to speak at the Oxford University Students' Union but then �grilled' and heckled by my very kind hosts - the boisterous students!

Dream No. 3                                           Monday 5th August 2003

I dreamt that I went to visit Prince Charles at his (private) home.  He was not in.  His wife was there.  I said something informal like: 'Where's Charlie?'  She gave me �20 (two �10 notes) like I get after private tuition lessons as fees.  There were criminal-like men nearby with evil faces.  They were also waiting for Prince Charles. Then I met H.R.H. when he arrived home at last.

Interpretation

I've also had dreams of being honoured by Her Majesty the Queen.  This dream could mean that I will also benefit financially from consultancy tasks bestowed on me by the Royal Family (H.R.H. Prince Charles is close to the British Muslim community; he is Patron of a number of Islamic Centres and University Affiliated Institutions.  Perhaps he might give some paid tasks �relating to these official bodies- to do in the future! 

Dream No. 4                                        Monday 20th  October 2003

I dreamt that people were reading namaz (ritual prayer) at a wedding. (1) Many cars were parked at the wedding venue.  Some youths were reading namaz but they were praying in the wrong directions! (2)  I myself was praying in the correct direction. (3)  Then, whilst still attending the wedding, I was sleeping with both my feet outstretched over the end of the bed!  A married couple, passing my bed, began to admire the beauty of my feet!  When I woke up, I was embarrassed to learn that they had seen my feet! (4)

(1)  To see marriage in a dream means �cure from all diseases and ailments'.  Ibn Sireen, p. 170

(2)  Suggests that these youths need to be more righteous.

(3)  Suggests that, Alhamdolillah, I myself am on the right path.

(4)  Toes: �They symbolise the beautiful image portrayed by what a man owns.' Ibn Sireen, p. 96

Dream No. 5                                         Tuesday 21st October 2003

I dreamt that there were fruit trees growing in my garden.  I saw a peach tree.  One boy tried to steal fruit by plucking off a medium-small, still unripe peach but I chased him away!

Interpretation

Muslim youth might try to take the credit for my unpublished Islamic work and good deeds.  For example, I have helped so many people by distributing photographs of Islamic miracles on the internet.  Now others are copying my methods.  Someone, for example, is distributing photos of the accursed Pharoah's mummified body on the kafir-infiltrated web forum http://www.islam.com/ !  See �photos' by  jkothiwala (one of the beneficiaries of my work) in the Teachings of Islam category, posted on Monday 17 July 2006 and compare it to my �Actual Photos of Islamic Miracles' (CHEETAH1 is my user name), posted on Friday 14 July 2006, and �Get a Free, Indisputable Photo of Allah's Name in the Sky', posted on 23 June 2006 [in the same category]. I suppose I should be honoured � imitation, after all, is the best compliment!

Dream No. 6                                     Saturday 8th November 2003

I dreamt that I saw giant vegetables �they looked like marrows or something from the keeya or pumpkin family- growing in some distant part of the country.  Two marrows I saw were really long � one was extremely long and huge.  I felt a sense of regret that I couldn't take these marrows home for my parents and siblings.  I saw a girl in one of the fields. (5)  Then I saw a very aggressive ram (6) with horns.  I thought: �This will make tasty dishes � I'll take it home!'  But when I tried to catch it, it was full of energy!  It somersaulted over me into the air and its horns just missed me!  I was most relieved to escape unscathed!

(5) Seeing his field used for growing produce means that the dreamer will prosper in matters pertaining to his religion (righteousness) and worldly life (wealth).  The greener the field is, the greater his prosperity will be.  Ibn Sireen, p. 83

(6) A sheep symbolises a fit and healthy person who is known to the people (famous, popular), a person who is enviable � one looked upon with respect.  He is also an honourable, wealthy and brave person who takes special care in guarding himself in ��.. respects.  Ibn Sireen, p. 140

Dream No. 7                                                       28th January 2004

I dreamt that my mother was offering me fruits such as apples and oranges, but I wouldn't take them.  Then she said: �You regularly eat grapes and the other fruit that the HUR in Jannat eat, so eat these as well!' *

        Translated from the oral Punjabi of the dream: �Tu angoor ta idha diyan chhezan kanaa rehna � ai vee ka!'

Interpretation

Eating fruits in the garden: It means that the observer will receive wealth from a wealthy woman.  Ibn Sireen, p. 52

Dream No. 8                                           Monday 14th March 2004

I dreamt that I was in the West Indies.  I saw a flightless bird, one as large as an emu but fatter.  It was really friendly.  The locals called it a Whoo-pee� bird and decorated it with two very big �neck-bands� �like girls' hair bands- of different colours.

Interpretation

I've had dreams that I will be travelling all over the world to do Islamic work later on in my life.  See the Dreams of Travel link on my Site http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/

Dream No. 9                                                            28th April 2004

I dreamt that a fellow Muslim from Oldham, rather a vulgar and unrefined character, tried to inform me that an article had appeared about me in The Leader local newspaper by slapping the paper down in front of me!  I read the article.  I was under the impression that I could keep the newspaper but, very unexpectedly, he took the newspaper off me!

Context

The Leader is published in Rochdale and copies are distributed throughout Greater Manchester.  Several members of the Muslim community in Oldham informed me that they had seen the article: staff from Hussain and Sons Food Store, my own pupil Ahtsham etc.  This dream emphasised that the character of many youths in Oldham is rough and uncouth � the total opposite of what a Muslim should be like!   I haven't been able to find the above-mentioned article in my Archive but the reader can read a similar review that appeared in another local paper:

http://www.theasiannews.co.uk/heritage/s/191/191169_in_my_dreams_i_find_allah.html  

Dream No. 10                                         Thursday 15th June 2004

I was telling my mother that I will wait for a noble wife; I will wait until the time is right for marriage, and that time is coming now.  Mum gave me a mocking type of look as if to say: I thought so (that I didn't seem too keen to marry in a hurry)!   But then I quickly backtracked by saying something like: �When things start to go well for me (when I am rich and successful), then I'll marry two or three times and have children by a few wives to make up for lost time!

Dream No. 11                                              Friday 18th June 2006

I dreamt that I received a political invitation from Parliament.  But I declined the invitation because I had private tuition lessons and so couldn't spare the time!

Context

This really did happen!  I was invited by George Galloway MP to meetings  to attend meetings in connection with the Mariam Appeal during the Gulf War + but I did not attend because going to London from Manchester would entail letting pupils down.

+ See Political Documents � Iraq on http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/ for further details of the valuable work done by Mr Galloway and his associates in this matter and my own letters on this subject.

Dream No. 12                                             Monday 19th July 2004

I dreamt that I was teaching a group of my girl pupils (7) to drive.  While I was instructing them, they actually managed to make my driving-instructor car fly!  The car raised itself about four or five feet off the ground!      There was a thrilling atmosphere in the dream!

(7)  I found that my girl pupils had a �sixth sense' about me.  They sensed that there was more to me than met the eye.  They often asked questions such as: �What else do you do?'  Then I had to tell them (I didn't often tell them first for fear of arousing jealousy and being sacked as a result) all about my Web Site, my career plans � for example to work for the BBC etc.  This dream is emphasising how these girl pupils felt when the learned of my plans and current achievements.

Dream No. 13                                          Thursday 15th July 2004

I had a very sweet dream that I was with Gillian Burgess (a fellow-student at the University of Manchester whom I had wanted to marry) and her friend, who was almost her �sidekick'.  They were complimenting me on my calligraphy writing and I was boasting to them!  I was saying that my calligraphy is the best in Manchester, if not the whole of Greater Manchester (or something along the lines that my calligraphy was the best in my local area and the whole of the region)!  There was a very friendly and carefree atmosphere in the dream.

Context  

I had been awarding my tuition pupils, when they made excellent progress in my tuition lessons, Certificates validated by The Dr Umar Azam Website http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/.  I filled in the details using calligraphy and, Alhamdolillah, the writing looked elegant and authoratative.  Also, I had made Certificates out for the winners of the �Competitions' section on my site www.dr-umar-azam.com again using calligraphy.

        S c a n    e x a m p l e   o f     C e r t i f i c a t e

Dream No. 14                                               Friday 22nd July 2005   

I dreamt that I was telling my best friend, Waseem Haque, that there are the English equivalents of CHOREILS (female demons) in the Pennines (I was saying this in a creepy, fun kind of way).

Context

A CHOREIL is a supernatural woman-like creature with long hair, piercing eyes, and hands and feet the wrong-way round!  She lives in the remotes jungles and isolated areas of the Indian subcontinent.  She lures men by calling in voices they recognise � the voices of loved ones!  When the go, they are killed!  The CHOREIL gives creepy thrills to people in the subcontinent just as the vampire does in Western folklore.  But the CHOREIL is not a figment of the imagination � it is a real creature!  There are many eye-witness accounts in the subcontinent!  This dream is giving the news that something like them is in Britain too!  

Dream No. 15                                                     c. 1st August 2005

A fellow Muslim's driverless car went out of control amidst people �milling about' and this made it an extremely dangerous situation.  But I heroically controlled it!  (In the next scene) I was a TV guest in a newsroom.  To make the news a more interesting programme, the producers had asked a �witch woman' to present it!  She carried out her normal duties (reading the news, interviewing guests etc.) interspersed with spells and other eccentric acts which, though from the occult �the black arts- were rather light-hearted and done in a mood of fun!  The studio became flooded with water, and I was trying to get rid of the water using a lotah (plastic or metal utensil used to perform the function of a bidet!).  A young Pakistani male had made some mistake and was trying to make amends by helping me out.  I was castigating him!

Interpretation

It seems that Muslims in the UK will get into a political mess and that certain non-Muslim enemies of Islam will enjoy this discomfort in a light-hearted, devilish way (symbolised by the witch-woman). I will be helping to sort out this tangle by arguing, and proving, in my media appearances that not each and every Muslim is a terrorist or supporter of terrorism!

Dream No. 16                                        Tuesday 30th August 2005

I was standing on the step of a pupil's house and either his mother or sister was taking his and my arm measurements.  I joked: �Is this for a television appearance (to order a tailor-made suit)?'  There was a relaxed, friendly atmosphere as the measuring was being done.  As I looked up, I banged my head on a frying pan and I was given the message that this was like an incident from Laurel and Hardy! [This slapstick comedy scene means that viewers will find me an amusing character � I will make them laugh, intentionally and unintentionally].

Dream No. 17                                       Friday 9th September 2005

I saw two or three elephants at Blackpool Pleasure Beach.  Over the top half of its body, each elephant wore an ornamental shawl, only the eyes being left uncovered.  I thought to myself: �Now I can see how people in past times used to travel by elephant!'  There was a feeling of fun as well as of great power.  I was hoping to have rides on these elephants with Za, but he had already been to Blackpool.  [See Dream No. 8 above.]

Dream No. 18                             Wednesday 14th September 2005

I dreamt that Uncle Ismail and I decided to go for a ride in a horse and cart just for the fun of it!  There was an emphasis on the concepts of history, custom and tradition. [See Dream No. 8 above.]

Dream No. 19                                   Sunday 18th September 2005

I went to some library.  The Librarian at the desk was some Muslim man.  I gave to him a card, like a post-card, with the picture of a beautiful model -she was lying down glamorously in a typical model's pose- on it.  There were a few words, like a moral, beside this photograph.  The Librarian taunted me by saying something like: �You don't have the ability to write more!'  So I referred him to my Web Site www.dr-umar-azam.com. When he logged on, even I got a shock!  Instead of a real film, an inferior, modern remake was showing on my Site (for example, in my opinion, the remake episodes of Randall and Hopkirk are nowhere near as entertaining as the original series)! [This dream is emphasising that my Web Site is both original and artistic.]

Dream No. 20                                        Monday 31st October 2005         (The Holy Month of Ramadan)

I dreamt that my absolutely beautiful unknown wife (she had a very pretty face) was also my pupil!  She was exactly my age and she was sitting beside me at a table, just like my pupils do!  [This dream is informing me that I will be married to a perfect i.e. of equal age  **********QUOTE VERSE FROM THE HOLY QURAN wife in Jannat, Insh'Allah, as a reward for my heartache in tuition lessons where I've felt like marrying a beautiful pupil, but she's been too young for me].

Dream No. 21                                         Friday 3rd February 2006

I was walking in a rural area, in what seemed to be a wood.  I almost slipped on the wet grass or sank into wet sludge!  My beautiful, unknown wife was nearby.  She found the whole incident hilarious and was laughing at me!  Then I met my best friend, Waseem Haque, in the city.  It was a chore to meet him in an urban area after that leisurely visit to that challenging wood!

Interpretation

This dream is telling the future.  I will marry again and raise a family in the countryside.  I will take the opportunity of being away from built-up areas to explore the rural scene in the company of my wife � and in the course of which, at times, I will suffer amusing physical mishaps!

Dream No. 22                                            Friday 31st March 2006

I dreamt that I was playing marbles and they rolled near the entrance to a University!  I entered the University and saw a distinguished Professor giving a lecture to a class of students.  Some of the students were 'refined' apes!  There were rows of humans and rows of apes!  The Professor, though eminent and also speaking crisply and properly in the Queen's English, called himself 'humble' during his lecture!

Interpretation

An ape or monkey: It represents his enemy who is defeated.  The reason for this defeat is that Allah has deprived him of His favours because of the transgressor's sins, infamy and wickedness.  Ibn Sireen, p. 118

Dream No. 23                                      Wednesday 12th April 2006

Dreamt that I saw Za (my younger brother) looking into an alleyway in the Glodwick neighbourhood of Oldham.  He was trying to tell me that a CHOREIL * had been seen in that very alleyway the night before, and also in an adjoining alleyway too!  He felt really excited, as well as scared, but I found his scary thrill humorous!  (In the next scene) I was standing next to my Daihatsu Sportrak SVU dressed only in my underpants!  A beautiful girl (a human!) was passing by.  She found the sight of me so amusing that she burst out in merry laughter!  (This was a really amusing dream but I was embarrassed when I woke up that I had only been very partially dressed in the latter part of this dream!)

* See Dream No. 14 above.

Dream No. 24                                              Friday 14th April 2006  

I dreamt that all the important members of the Royal Family came to visit me in my lodgings in Oldham but I didn't have enough chairs to seat them!

Context

A few days later, I wrote a poem in honour of Her Majesty's 80th birthday and it was later (July 15) accepted for publication in a special anthology by the Forward Press http://www.forwardpress.co.uk/ A copy of this anthology would be sent to H.M. Queen Elizabeth II! Here is a scanned copy of the letter:

Here is my poem:

Her Radiant Majesty

With a dazzling smile which is sure to please,

She reigns over the country with the greatest of ease!

Still competent as ever at eighty years of age,

Greater love for our Monarch is hard to envisage!

Appointed by God Most High to serve the Nation,

Her affectionate nature fills us all with admiration!

Having her as Queen has become Britain's wont,

A republic we would hate, not something we want!

She lives in a palace and rides a golden coach,

But her manner is humble and she is easy to approach!

Owner of riches and many a gem,

Her Maj is the gem, forget about them!

Stunning she looks, whatever her attire,

Opening Parliament or by the Palace fire!

Lucky is the Duke to have her as wife,

Enduring marital bliss, absence of strife!

On the Queen's Train or flying abroad

Her Majesty's travels are formidably broad!

Shaking the hands of Presidents and Heads of State,

She fulfils monarchal duties, date after date!

Her crystal voice utters words with care,

Never does she shun the camera's glare!

Her crown does sparkle, with many a ray;

May this throne accomodate her, day after day!

A duty of hers is to compile Honours' Lists,

To let the nation learn the names of its firsts!

Such a list of names has there frequently been,

But who will honour Her Majesty, The Queen?

Dream No. 25                                           Monday 24th April 2006 

Dreamt that two of my three sisters and I were in a Mosque listening to a youngish, fat, modern Imam making a speech.  Words to the effect that, yes, he wanted money accidentally slipped out of his mouth!  In embarrassment, he quickly finished his speech, and everyone began to leave! 

Interpretation

Maulvis nowadays are not religious from the heart: they attach importance to materialism and try to use religion for the making of money.

Dream No. 26                                               Sunday 4th June 2006

I was reading the cartoon strip The Broons from The Sunday Post.  I was especially attracted to that specific cartoon strip from that particular edition of the newspaper because almost all the captions were mostly dark, describing an incident from Pa Broon's mayhem during the night!  Broon thought that his house was haunted.  He searched everywhere in his house for the ghost that night and then reached the conclusion that there was no ghost!  But the ghost of a bird or duck was right behind him when he reached that conclusion!  While Mr. Broon had been searching his house for the ghost, he had almost caught the thieving family pet dog (it was like the �Dulux' dog from the ICI paints adverts of the 1970s � an Old English Sheepdog, I think) ransacking a black bin bag full of trash!  Amazingly, (perhaps because of Pa Broon's foolishness) the dog had had a narrow escape!

Context

I had used material from The Sunday Post for my article Science v. Religion? on my Site www.dr-umar-azam.com

Moreover, I read this newspaper fairly regularly to relax from the intensive pace of my private tuition work and my Islamic work.  As well as the news and sports coverage in brief,I particularly enjoyed the following features: Raw Deal, The Broons, Down on the Farm, Letters, and the Francis Gay column.

Dream No. 27                                              Friday 18th June 2006

I dreamt that I received a political invitation from Parliament.  But I declined the invitation because I had private tuition lessons and so couldn't spare the time!

Context

This really did happen!  I was invited by George Galloway MP to meetings  to attend meetings in connection with the Mariam Appeal during the Gulf War + but I did not attend because going to London from Manchester would entail letting pupils down.

+ See Political Documents � Iraq on http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/ for further details of the valuable work done by Mr Galloway and his associates in this matter and my own letters on this subject.

Dream No. 28                                             Saturday 8th July 2006

I dreamt that Goshoo, my pet black-and-white rabbit, did something really funny and Appo, my older sister, laughed loudly.  Then I sacrificed Goshoo, had to leave him, for the sake of my parents and siblings.

Context

Goshoo was a very lively pet.  While I was sleeping, he used to jump on my bed and lick my face, waking me slightly.  Before I could stroke him, he used to jump off the bed!  I bought a female rabbit and Goshoo became the father of some ten tiny bunnies!  My mother told me to set him, and his family, free or we would be and overrun by unwanted rabbits.  Most reluctantly, I abandoned the family in a wood close to Tatton Park in Cheshire (where I used to take my mother for a drive in the countryside to help her in her illness).  When I went to check a week later, a gamekeeper told me that they had gone into the deep interior of the wood long ago!

Conclusion

I very much hope that the reader has enjoyed these amusing dreams.  Even though they are amusing, their subtle or literal messages are very much serious.  They are very valuable to me because they show that Allah really is the Most Merciful Of Those Who Show Mercy- the Supreme Monarch in Whose presence any soul would want to spend Eternity!