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AMUSING
DREAMS Dr.
Umar Azam B.A., Ph.D., F.R.S.A., F.R.S.S.A. July
2006 Introduction For
me, amusing dreams have been much rarer than serious
dreams. I suppose this is
because I am quite a serious person most of the time, a mood one becomes
accustomed to when trying to earn a living and also writing academic
articles! Perhaps my
subconscious realises this and so I dream serious dreams! However, I consider amusing dreams
to be a Mercy from Allah Most High. Because of their light-hearted nature,
they are refreshingly different to the more serious side of
life!
NOTE:
While writing this paper, I noticed that some of the dreams that were
relevant for this particular title � Amusing Dreams- had already
been included in other papers, for example Romantic Dreams. Although it has happened a few
times previously, I don't intend to duplicate original material which
falls into a complex Venn Diagram of applicable, overlapping dreams. So I have omitted dreams which
have been published before but which could have been included in this
work. Dream
No. 1 I
dreamt that I was in the bathroom. The house my flat was in had huge
pillars and it was very spacious, like a palace. Then across
a vast space I saw groups of beautiful maidens coming in my
direction! These girls looked very artistically- capable, like film
actresses! One of them laughed merrily and loudly when she saw
me! I felt so embarrassed. Then I thought: 'Why am I feeling
embarrassed? What I am doing is completely natural.' The young
ladies were stunningly attractive and, when they had reached near to where
I was, they began to walk sideways! Context From
1984-2003, most of my important, Islamic work has been done in loneliness
in rather uncomfortable bedsits and flats. This dream is giving me the news
of the opulence and company that I can expect, Insha'Allah, in
Dream
No. 2
c.
I
had a dream telling me that I'll be famous in the future. I was first invited to speak at
the Dream
No. 3
I
dreamt that I went to visit Prince Charles at his (private) home. He
was not in. His wife was there. I said something informal
like: 'Where's Charlie?' She gave me �20 (two �10 notes) like I get
after private tuition lessons as fees. There were criminal-like men
nearby with evil faces. They were also waiting for Prince Charles.
Then I met H.R.H. when he arrived home at last. Interpretation I've
also had dreams of being honoured by Her Majesty the Queen. This dream could mean that I will
also benefit financially from consultancy tasks bestowed on me by the
Royal Family (H.R.H. Prince Charles is close to the British Muslim
community; he is Patron of a number of Islamic Centres and University
Affiliated Institutions.
Perhaps he might give some paid tasks �relating to these official
bodies- to do in the future! Dream
No. 4
I
dreamt that people were reading namaz (ritual prayer) at a wedding.
(1) Many cars were parked at the wedding venue. Some youths were reading
namaz but they were praying in the wrong directions! (2) I myself was praying in the
correct direction. (3)
Then, whilst still attending the wedding, I was sleeping with both
my feet outstretched over the end of the bed! A married couple, passing my bed,
began to admire the beauty of my feet! When I woke up, I was embarrassed
to learn that they had seen my feet! (4) (1)
To
see marriage in a dream means �cure from all diseases and ailments'. Ibn Sireen, p.
170 (2)
Suggests
that these youths need to be more righteous. (3)
Suggests
that, Alhamdolillah, I myself am on the right
path. (4)
Toes:
�They symbolise the beautiful image portrayed by what a man owns.' Ibn
Sireen, p. 96 Dream
No. 5
I
dreamt that there were fruit trees growing in my garden. I saw a peach tree. One boy tried to steal fruit by
plucking off a medium-small, still unripe peach but I chased him
away! Interpretation Muslim
youth might try to take the credit for my unpublished Islamic work and
good deeds. For example, I
have helped so many people by distributing photographs of Islamic miracles
on the internet. Now others
are copying my methods.
Someone, for example, is distributing photos of the accursed
Pharoah's mummified body on the kafir-infiltrated web forum http://www.islam.com/ ! See �photos' by jkothiwala
(one of the beneficiaries of my work) in the Teachings of Islam
category, posted on Monday 17 July 2006 and compare it to my �Actual
Photos of Islamic Miracles' (CHEETAH1 is my user name), posted on Friday
14 July 2006, and �Get a Free, Indisputable Photo of Allah's Name in the
Sky', posted on 23 June 2006 [in the same category]. I suppose I should be
honoured � imitation, after all, is the best
compliment! Dream
No. 6
I
dreamt that I saw giant vegetables �they looked like marrows or something
from the keeya or pumpkin family- growing in some distant part of
the country. Two marrows I
saw were really long � one was extremely long and huge. I felt a sense of regret that I
couldn't take these marrows home for my parents and siblings. I saw a girl in one of the fields.
(5) Then I saw a very
aggressive ram (6) with horns.
I thought: �This will make tasty dishes � I'll take it home!' But when I tried to catch it, it
was full of energy! It
somersaulted over me into the air and its horns just missed me! I was most relieved to escape
unscathed! (5) Seeing
his field used for growing produce means that the dreamer will prosper in
matters pertaining to his religion (righteousness) and worldly life
(wealth). The greener the
field is, the greater his prosperity will be. Ibn Sireen, p.
83 (6) A
sheep symbolises a fit and healthy person who is known to the people
(famous, popular), a person who is enviable � one looked upon with
respect. He is also an
honourable, wealthy and brave person who takes special care in guarding
himself in ��.. respects. Ibn
Sireen, p. 140 Dream
No. 7
I
dreamt that my mother was offering me fruits such as apples and oranges,
but I wouldn't take them.
Then she said: �You regularly eat grapes and the other fruit that
the HUR in Jannat eat, so eat these as well!' * �
Translated
from the oral Punjabi of the dream: �Tu angoor ta idha diyan chhezan kanaa
rehna � ai vee ka!' Interpretation Eating
fruits in the garden: It means that the observer will receive wealth from
a wealthy woman. Ibn Sireen, p.
52 Dream
No. 8
I
dreamt that I was in the Interpretation I've
had dreams that I will be travelling all over the world to do Islamic work
later on in my life. See the
Dreams of Travel link on my Site http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/
Dream
No. 9
I
dreamt that a fellow Muslim from Context The
Leader
is published in http://www.theasiannews.co.uk/heritage/s/191/191169_in_my_dreams_i_find_allah.html
Dream
No. 10
I
was telling my mother that I will wait for a noble wife; I will
wait until the time is right for marriage, and that time is coming
now. Mum gave me a mocking
type of look as if to say: I thought so (that I didn't seem too keen to
marry in a hurry)! But
then I quickly backtracked by saying something like: �When things start to
go well for me (when I am rich and successful), then I'll marry two or
three times and have children by a few wives to make up for lost
time! Dream
No. 11
I
dreamt that I received a political invitation from Parliament. But I declined the invitation
because I had private tuition lessons and so couldn't spare the
time! Context This
really did happen! I was
invited by George Galloway MP to meetings to attend meetings in connection
with the Mariam Appeal during the Gulf War + but I did not attend
because going to London from Manchester would entail letting pupils
down. +
See Political Documents � Iraq on http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/ for
further details of the valuable work done by Mr Galloway and his
associates in this matter and my own letters on this
subject. Dream
No. 12
I
dreamt that I was teaching a group of my girl pupils (7) to drive. While I was instructing them, they
actually managed to make my driving-instructor car fly! The car raised itself about four
or five feet off the ground! There was a thrilling
atmosphere in the dream! (7)
I
found that my girl pupils had a �sixth sense' about me. They sensed that there was more to
me than met the eye. They
often asked questions such as: �What else do you do?' Then I had to tell them (I didn't
often tell them first for fear of arousing jealousy and being sacked as a
result) all about my Web Site, my career plans � for example to work for
the BBC etc. This dream is
emphasising how these girl pupils felt when the learned of my plans and
current achievements. Dream
No. 13
I
had a very sweet dream that I was with Gillian Burgess (a fellow-student
at the Context
I
had been awarding my tuition pupils, when they made excellent progress in
my tuition lessons, Certificates validated by The Dr Umar Azam Website http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/. I filled in the details using
calligraphy and, Alhamdolillah, the writing looked elegant and
authoratative. Also, I had
made Certificates out for the winners of the �Competitions' section on my
site www.dr-umar-azam.com
again using calligraphy.
S
c a n e x a m p l
e o f C e r t i f i c
a t e Dream
No. 14
I
dreamt that I was telling my best friend, Waseem Haque, that there are the
English equivalents of CHOREILS (female demons) in the
Context A
CHOREIL is a supernatural woman-like creature with long hair, piercing
eyes, and hands and feet the wrong-way round! She lives in the remotes jungles
and isolated areas of the Indian subcontinent. She lures men by calling in voices
they recognise � the voices of loved ones! When the go, they are killed! The CHOREIL gives creepy thrills
to people in the subcontinent just as the vampire does in Western
folklore.
But
the CHOREIL is not a
figment of the imagination � it is a real creature! There are many eye-witness
accounts in the subcontinent!
This dream is giving the news that something like them is in
Dream
No. 15
c. A
fellow Muslim's driverless car went out of control amidst people �milling
about' and this made it an extremely dangerous situation. But I heroically controlled
it! (In the next scene) I was
a TV guest in a newsroom. To
make the news a more interesting programme, the producers had asked a
�witch woman' to present it!
She carried out her normal duties (reading the news, interviewing
guests etc.) interspersed with spells and other eccentric acts which,
though from the occult �the black arts- were rather light-hearted and done
in a mood of fun! The studio
became flooded with water, and I was trying to get rid of the water using
a lotah (plastic or metal utensil used to perform the function of a
bidet!). A young Pakistani
male had made some mistake and was trying to make amends by helping me
out. I was castigating
him!
Interpretation It
seems that Muslims in the
Dream
No. 16
I
was standing on the step of a pupil's house and either his mother or
sister was taking his and my arm measurements. I joked: �Is this for a television
appearance (to order a tailor-made suit)?' There was a relaxed, friendly
atmosphere as the measuring was being done. As I looked up, I banged my head
on a frying pan and I was given the message that this was like an incident
from Laurel and Hardy! [This slapstick comedy scene means that viewers
will find me an amusing character � I will make them laugh, intentionally
and unintentionally]. Dream
No. 17
I
saw two or three elephants at
Dream
No. 18
I
dreamt that Uncle Ismail and I decided to go for a ride in a horse and
cart just for the fun of it!
There was an emphasis on the concepts of history, custom and
tradition. [See Dream No. 8 above.] Dream
No. 19
I
went to some library. The
Librarian at the desk was some Muslim man. I gave to him a card, like a
post-card, with the picture of a beautiful model -she was lying down
glamorously in a typical model's pose- on it. There were a few words, like a
moral, beside this photograph.
The Librarian taunted me by saying something like: �You don't have
the ability to write more!'
So I referred him to my Web Site www.dr-umar-azam.com.
When
he logged on, even I got a shock!
Instead of a real film, an inferior, modern remake was showing on
my Site (for example, in my opinion, the remake episodes of Randall and
Hopkirk are nowhere near as entertaining as the original series)!
[This dream is emphasising that my Web Site is both original and
artistic.] Dream
No. 20
I
dreamt that my absolutely beautiful unknown wife (she had a very pretty
face) was also my pupil! She
was exactly my age and she was sitting beside me at a table, just like my
pupils do! [This dream is informing me
that I will be married to a perfect i.e. of equal age **********QUOTE VERSE FROM THE
HOLY QURAN wife in Jannat, Insh'Allah, as a reward for my heartache in
tuition lessons where I've felt like marrying a beautiful pupil, but she's
been too young for me]. Dream
No. 21
I
was walking in a rural area, in what seemed to be a wood. I almost slipped on the wet grass
or sank into wet sludge! My
beautiful, unknown wife was nearby.
She found the whole incident hilarious and was laughing at me! Then I met my best friend, Waseem
Haque, in the city. It was a
chore to meet him in an urban area after that leisurely visit to that
challenging wood! Interpretation This
dream is telling the future.
I will marry again and raise a family in the countryside. I will take the opportunity of
being away from built-up areas to explore the rural scene in the company
of my wife � and in the course of which, at times, I will suffer amusing
physical mishaps! Dream
No. 22
I
dreamt that I was playing marbles and they rolled near the entrance to a
University! I entered the
University and saw a distinguished Professor giving a lecture to a
class of students. Some of
the students were 'refined' apes! There were rows of humans and rows
of apes! The Professor,
though eminent and also speaking crisply and properly in the Queen's
English, called himself 'humble' during his lecture! Interpretation An
ape or monkey: It represents his enemy who is defeated. The reason for this defeat is that
Allah has deprived him of His favours because of the transgressor's sins,
infamy and wickedness. Ibn Sireen, p.
118 Dream
No. 23
Dreamt
that I saw Za (my younger brother) looking into an alleyway in the
Glodwick neighbourhood of *
See Dream No. 14 above. Dream
No. 24
I
dreamt that all the important members of the Royal Family came to visit me
in my lodgings in Context A
few days later, I wrote a poem in honour of Her Majesty's 80th
birthday and it was later (July 15) accepted for publication in a special
anthology by the Forward Press http://www.forwardpress.co.uk/ A
copy of this anthology would be sent to H.M. Queen Elizabeth II! Here is a
scanned copy of the letter: Here
is my poem:
Her
Radiant Majesty With
a dazzling smile which is sure to please, She
reigns over the country with the greatest of ease! Still
competent as ever at eighty years of age, Greater
love for our Monarch is hard to envisage! Appointed
by God Most High to serve the Nation, Her
affectionate nature fills us all with admiration! Having
her as Queen has become
A
republic we would hate, not something we want! She
lives in a palace and rides a golden coach, But
her manner is humble and she is easy to approach! Owner
of riches and many a gem, Her
Maj is the gem, forget about them! Stunning
she looks, whatever her attire, Opening
Parliament or by the Palace fire! Lucky
is the Duke to have her as wife, Enduring
marital bliss, absence of strife! On the
Queen's Train or flying abroad Her
Majesty's travels are formidably broad! Shaking
the hands of Presidents and Heads of State, She
fulfils monarchal duties, date after date! Her
crystal voice utters words with care, Never
does she shun the camera's glare! Her
crown does sparkle, with many a ray; May
this throne accomodate her, day after day! A
duty of hers is to compile Honours' Lists, To
let the nation learn the names of its firsts! Such
a list of names has there frequently been, But
who
will
honour Her Majesty, The Queen? Dream
No. 25
Dreamt
that two of my three sisters and I were in a Mosque listening to a
youngish, fat, modern Imam making a speech. Words to the effect that, yes, he
wanted money accidentally slipped out of his mouth! In embarrassment, he quickly
finished his speech, and everyone began to leave! Interpretation
Maulvis
nowadays are not religious from the heart: they attach importance to
materialism and try to use religion for the making of
money. Dream
No. 26
I
was reading the cartoon strip The Broons from The Sunday
Post. I was especially
attracted to that specific cartoon strip from that particular edition of
the newspaper because almost all the captions were mostly dark, describing
an incident from Pa Broon's mayhem during the night! Broon thought that his house was
haunted. He searched
everywhere in his house for the ghost that night and then reached the
conclusion that there was no ghost! But the ghost of a bird or duck
was right behind him when he reached that conclusion! While Mr. Broon had been searching
his house for the ghost, he had almost caught the thieving family
pet dog (it was like the �Dulux' dog from the ICI paints adverts of
the 1970s � an Old English Sheepdog, I think) ransacking a black bin bag
full of trash! Amazingly,
(perhaps because of Pa Broon's foolishness) the dog had had a narrow
escape! Context I
had used material from The Sunday Post for my article Science v. Religion?
on my Site www.dr-umar-azam.com
Moreover,
I read this newspaper fairly regularly to relax from the intensive pace of
my private tuition work and my Islamic work. As well as the news and sports
coverage in brief,I particularly enjoyed the following features: Raw Deal,
The Broons, Down on the Farm, Letters, and the Francis Gay
column. Dream
No. 27
I
dreamt that I received a political invitation from Parliament. But I declined the invitation
because I had private tuition lessons and so couldn't spare the
time! Context This
really did happen! I was
invited by George Galloway MP to meetings to attend meetings in connection
with the Mariam Appeal during the Gulf War + but I did not attend
because going to London from Manchester would entail letting pupils
down. +
See Political Documents � Iraq on http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/ for
further details of the valuable work done by Mr Galloway and his
associates in this matter and my own letters on this
subject. Dream
No. 28
I
dreamt that Goshoo, my pet black-and-white rabbit, did something really
funny and Appo, my older sister, laughed loudly. Then I sacrificed Goshoo, had to
leave him, for the sake of my parents and
siblings. Context Goshoo
was a very lively pet. While
I was sleeping, he used to jump on my bed and lick my face, waking me
slightly. Before I could
stroke him, he used to jump off the bed! I bought a female rabbit and
Goshoo became the father of some ten tiny bunnies! My mother told me to set him, and
his family, free or we would be and overrun by unwanted rabbits. Most reluctantly, I abandoned the
family in a wood close to Conclusion I
very much hope that the reader has enjoyed these amusing dreams. Even though they are amusing,
their subtle or literal messages are very much serious. They are very valuable to me
because they show that Allah really is the Most Merciful Of Those Who
Show Mercy- the Supreme Monarch in Whose presence any soul would want
to spend Eternity! |